This isn't really home anymore. It's the first time in my almost 18 years abroad that coming "home" no longer feels like "home." My room is now my old room. My house is now my parents' house or grandma and bopi's house. My town is now my hometown. Even my running route isn't mine anymore because I can't run anymore!
The streets are different; the stores are different; the people are different. I no longer need to "worry" about running into people from high school. I'll no longer see my friends' parents because most of them moved away. And I'll no longer see my old school teachers because they're all retired.
It's taken almost 18 years for home to no longer be home. But is france home? It doesn't feel like it most of the time. I feel foreign and different. But, that's how I feel at home...
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3 comments:
I started having that feeling when I was living in France.
It started after only 2 years, which is probably because even before I went to France, I lived in 3 different places (7 years Frankfurt, 14 years Hamburg, 8 years Karlsruhe), and the one that left the biggest imprint (Hamburg), even though it was and felt like home for a long time, was still only 14 years our of 30 at the time.
I never felt at home in France, really, nor in the UK, at least not completely.
These days, I think the feeling will probably not come back. It's just the way it is.
And that's why I like having a big family - my home.
It's been 17 years for me in France and now starting over in Luxembourg - no where is home anymore but everywhere has the potential to be. I hope.
I hear you both..."home is where the heart is" means more to us than to most people :)
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