What I learned in my first year of CP (French 1st grade)

1. Elle peut être très jolie mais ça veut pas dire qu'elle est gentille (she may be really pretty but that doesn't meant she's nice) : Suzanne said this about one of the teachers at her school. And she's right
2. Just because the principal is an ex-wrestling champion and doesn't smile much doesn't mean she's cold and mean. The principal - who will be S's teacher next year - actually is much kinder than the kind-looking teacher she had this year
3. Don't expect to be thanked by the teacher...ever ! Back in December and January, I went into S's class once a week for 30 minute American lessons, real lessons that I prepared for, put my heart into and that the kids and parents really appreciated. The teacher never said a simple merci.
4. Once your bilingual child learns to read in one language, she'll figure it out in the other.
5. Just because your bilingual child hears the majority language all day doesn't mean she'll reject the minority language. In fact, S seems even more proud of her bilingualism now that ever!
6. Snacks are really important.
7. CP is scary- maybe even more so for an American mom sending her children to French school - but you can make up for the lack of warm and fuzziness at school with your attitude at home. As my husband so wisely says, he and I went through different systems and we both ended up in the same place. There's a lot to be said for home life.
8. Kids go at their own pace. S could speak French and English by the time she was 1 but she couldn't walk until she was 20 months. She may not have been the fastest reader, but she got there and she did it at her own pace.
9. Teacher gifts are great (but don't expect them to say thank you...)
10. If you ever think French kids have too much vacation time, I'm here to tell you it's well worth it. My kids are exhausted and need every break they can get !

Vive les vacances!!!!

Waiting for ... Sully and Mike

Ok so it's not like we're waiting for the Messiah or even Godot, but here in Lille we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our favorite fuzzy monsters to the lillois move screens. Only a few more days to go !!!  Too bad it'll only be released in French...I'll definitely miss Billy Crystal's voice.

Paying it forward

16 years. Or maybe 17, depending on how you count. That's how long I've lived in France. I've been married to a Frenchman for 10 years and been a French citizen for 6 years. And I'm still paying forward all the people and contacts that helped me get to this life I'm living.

I still give credit to the friend of the friend who let me sleep on his couch for 5 months, the family from back home who let me be their "family appendage"' for a few years, the friend of the friend who told me how to get working papers and of course the friend of the friend of the friend who eventually introduced me to my husband.

As another school year comes to a close, I once again brought my American babysitters to my favorite place around Lille- Mosaic-  for a goodbye outing. And as we talked about what happens next, I did something I usually don't do : I gave them a piece of advice. When you get back to school for your senior year, don't freak out even if everyone around you knows what's they're doing and where they're headed. Because things always have a way of working out.

As I went on to tell them that if they ever want to come back to France, the door was always open, I realized that even after all this time, I'm still paying it forward. Without the help of others - and of course my own perseverance - I'd be somewhere else, doing something else, living some other life. But who wants to think about that!

MLK as seen by French first graders

Who's this?

Obama !
Le président des Etats Unis !
Le président de l'Afrique !






who's this?


Le frère d'Obama!
Le président de l'Afrique!
Un chauffeur de bus!








who's this?

Une prisonnière!
La femme d'Obama!

why is she a prisonner?
Elle a tué quelqu'un!






And what's this?


bus ! (they knew this word in English from the previous week's lesson)





This is how I began the lesson on MLK in Suzanne's CP (French 1st grade) class. I went on to explain (in French) that Rosa Parks was put in prison because she wanted to ride the bus, but didn't want to give up her seat to a white man (I simplified the whole thing a lot). I was floored by the next thing I heard :

C'est pas juste! That's not fair !

The kids were up in arms and really had trouble understanding that someone would be put in prison because of the color of their skin.

I explained to the kids that MLK wanted liberté (freedom), égalité (equality)...and maybe he also wanted fraternité (brotherhood) as the kid in the back said, but that wasn't his main goal. (the French motto is liberté, égalité, fraternité, something the kids learned about in their civics lessons).

I explained to them that the black people of Montgomery didn't take the bus for over a year; they walked everywhere: to school, to work, to church. Pourquoi ils n'ont pas pris de voitures? I explained that they didn't have cars.

I told them that when Suzanne's grandparents were kids, some places didn't allow black and white kids to go to school together or to be friends. And MLK changed all that. He spoke to millions of people. They asked if Suzanne's grandmother met MLK. I told them that she didn't, but that she heard him speak along with millions of other people. He said, j'ai un rève que mes quatres enfants habiteront un jour une nation où ils seront jugés non pas par la couleur de leur peau, mais par le contenu de leur caractère.  I have to admit, it felt a bit strange quoting MLK in French. Madame B, the teacher, then got the kids to discuss what caractère was.

I ended the lesson with a tribute to my elementary school music teacher, Mrs. Chilsholm, who taught us "We Shall Overcome." I explained the words to the kids and asked what they wanted to overcome? Ils veulent égalité. As I played the CD, I looked around and saw the kids snickering at Joan Baez's high pitch tone. And as I scanned the class, I saw one of the kids, Mireille, swaying her head as she sang along. I was overcome with pride. 

What impressed me the most about the lesson was how the kids just could not comprehend that someone would be judged by the color of their skin. As an American, I didn't realize that other people aren't brought up talking about the evils of racism. But in France, they don't because race isn't an issue (and once again, I'm not saying that there aren't racist French people). What I'm saying is that in France, the "code" brings people up to see other people. If you ask a French kid to describe one of their friend's they may describe her hair color, eye color, the shoes she wears, but they will never talk about the skin or ethnicity. In the US, I'll bet that's the first thing a kid would start with.

It was eye opening for me. And I can's begin to say how touched I was by those kids.

MLK à la française

Today is a special day : it's MLK day back in the US. As a kid, this was a special day that included discussions about peace and equality, the civil rights movement and reflection on what it means to be a good person.

Today is my second to last lesson in Suzanne's class. and it's MLK day. So what do you think I plan to talk to the kids about...Yeah, see my problem? This is a class of French 1st graders. A group of kids who don't know about segregation, who grow up in a country where slavery wasn't institutionalized, where ethnicity isn't part of your official identity, there are no censure counting the number of minorities, there is no positive discrimination, there is no history of Jim Crow...

So I've been thinking about the question for 2 weeks: how can I talk to these kids about MLK without them saying, et alors? (so what?) While talking my husband's ear(s) off about this topic, I've realized how different it was growing up in the US in the 80's, in a very multicultural town where I was bussed to the other side of town for school, where my music teacher (an African American woman named Ms. Chisholm) taught us songs like "Amazing Grace" and "We Shall Overcome", where MLK day meant a school assembly about Black History Month. In France, none of that exists. When talking with my husband, I realized that institutional racism never existed in France (I'm by no means saying racism didn't or doesn't exist!). There was no segregation so these concepts are way beyond their comprehension. If I tell them that black and white kids couldn't go to school together, they couldn't drink from the same water fountain, they couldn't get married...do the French kids care? Does it mean anything to them?

These are the questions I've been grappling with, for both my daughter's class and for both of my kids. I realize they will probably never know (and maybe it's a good thing!) about positive discrimination or political correctness in the same way I did growing up because France doesn't have THAT baggage (I'm not talking about France's baggage).

So when I show a picture of MLK to the kids this afternoon, how many of them are going to tell me it's Obama? Will they realize the importance that this man had on the country, on the world? Will they care about Rosa Parks' resistance on that bus? Will they care about marching on Washington or "I have a dream"?

I'm scared to face them this afternoon...but I hope they will go home and ask questions and make their French parents think about the things I grew up learning about. And I hope that tonight, when I sit down with my kids to watch Obama's inauguration speech, they will grasp some of the importance of the day...

The cookie jar meets darwin

One of the biggest frustrations for me as a cook/foodie in France is all the work that goes into converting, adapting, finding ingredients, and then having to figure out how to make my American recipe anyway with what I can find in France. After 15+ years in France, I've got a good handle on it all.

I call it darwinism for recipes...

Here, my chérs readers (if there are actually any besides my friend L in NJ and my parents...), is my first public and published darwinized American recipe. I am proud to share the article I wrote for My American Market on my blog. The article originally appeared here. So with no further ado, my first published darwinized recipe...

"My mother used to make these amazing teddy bear breads that she would give to my teachers for the holidays. But now that I’m a parent, I’m amazed that she found the time, patience and energy to bake bread, any kind of bread, for my teachers.

Giving a holiday gift to your teacher in France (or at least in Lille) is just as important as it was back in New Jersey. But after 2 years of baking cookies for 2 people at school plus the 10 people at my son’s crêche (about 4 dozen each of chocolate chip and spice crinkles), I needed to find an easier and less time consuming gift that still retained the personal, American touch.

(this is the actual jar I gave to my daughter's teacher)

Enter “the cookie jar”: the perfect homemade, easy, very American gift for teachers. You need only a few minutes, no major materials and it’s inexpensive. But, there are two problems with the recipes you find on the internet:

1) they are in English with American measurements and 2) they don’t take into account the differences in American French products like creamier butter or the difference in flour which can cause flat cookies. (I usually do a mix of T110 and 65T) .

All you need is a 1 liter glass Mason jar (like these from Ikea for a couple of euros), some pretty ribbon, recipe cards printed from the internet and the ingredients:

• 1 3/4 cup (270g) all-purpose flour
• 3/4 teaspoon (3 g) baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon (3g) salt
• 9 oz (250g) chocolate chips
• 3/4 cup (150g) packed brown sugar
• 1/2 cup (95g) granulated sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla sugar
• 1 ½ cup (160g) butter
• 1 large egg
• ½ tsp cinnamon
• ¼ cup oatmeal

I’ve done all the extra work for you as well as added my own touch (the cinnamon and oatmeal can be omitted). If you do use the original recipe (original Tollhouse recipe or chocolate chip oatmeal cookies), remember to add 2 extra tablespoons of flour to the mix to balance out the fat content of the French butter.
To make the cookie mix in a jar, layer the ingredients in the following order. Use the back of a spoon to flatten the layers out as much as possible before adding a new one.

1. flour, baking soda, salt, vanilla sugar and cinnamon mixed well
2. chocolate chips (or equal amount of chocolate pieces)
3. brown sugar
4. white sugar

You can use my recipe card (below) to attach to your jar or create your own with these instructions:

 

And remember that in French, the plural cookies is always used even for a single cookie, attesting to the fact that you can’t eat just one.

The cookies-in-a-jar concept can be used with almost any kind of cookies, here are a few pictures ideas for you:

.

American CP Lesson 1 : How the Bear Lost Its Tail (and Native Americans)

Last week, I did my first of 6 American culture  lessons in Suzanne's CP class. I was really nervous about it and planned for worst case scenario...

I decided to start out by asking the class if  they knew why I wasthere. Once boy replied, "parceque vous êtes anglaise!" which is a mistake even my daughte makes. I explained to them that I speak English but come from America.  In a sign of proper deference to the teacher,  I told them I would teach them a little English and some things about the United States but that I wasn't going to teach them English like their teacher, Madame G. In order to bring the idea closer to home, I showed them a comic book they all seem to know : Yakari which is s a French comic about a little native American boy.

Since I couldn't actually get my hands on a book, I had to make my own with a compilation of pictures I grabbed off the internet and color copies form books I'd found at the library. I began by  testing the kids on the words in the way I'd learned to as a trainer at Berlitz so many years ago. Once they'd gotten works like bear, fox and tail and the name of the American animals I'd chosen (racoon, chipmunk, moose, eagle...), I told them the story.

I was inspired by this video by professional storyteller Mike Lockett when I told the story. I tried to be as animated and slow as he was lines each time, making it easy for them to understand, inspired by this telling of the story.  This was a great resource. 

When I finished, I asked the kids in French what they understood and, not surprisinly, the kids seemed to understand exactly what happened.

I then showed the kids a picture of foods we know thanks to Native Americans and tested  them on the English. Foods such as: corn, beans, pumpkin, tomato, potato, turkey...

And to finish, I asked the kids if they knew any NAtive American words. They of course said no to which I replied, "Je suis sûre que si". I'm sure you do! From this wikipedia list, I'd chosen words that exist in the English language that are also used in French. I said the words in English and asked the children to guess the French. I was surprised how quickly they got things like avocado and tomato. And amused how long it took them to figure out anorak, which they guess anything from a food to an animal.

Since the focus wasn't a real English lesson but rather a cultural lesson about the United States, I was free to explain in French which I think got the point across better.

At the end of the lesson, the teacher thanked me and I said bye to the kids. And as a sign of what I consider success, the teacher used the informal tu with me as I was leaving!

I'll also add how proud I was of Suzanne who spoke up in front of her whole class in English without a second thought. It shows me that she's not ashamed or scared to show others that she's different which is every parents' goal...

For next week's lesson, I plan on building on the Native American theme and using the food vocabulary as a segway into an explanation of Thanksgiving and other American holidays.

English lessons in CP : How the bear lost his tail

Ever since Suzanne started école maternelle, I always imagined me having some sort of role in the classroom. But, it has proven to be more difficult than I expected. Working is one of the problems. But it's always because parents just aren't as active here as in the US. So my input has been minimal thus far, although I've managed to go into her class at least once a year to talk about something American or in English. My interest in going into her class is twofold. First, it's interesting for the kids to hear from people from other places. Second, if I'm in the class, Suzanne will be proud and maybe it won't be so "strange" for her to be bilingual. (and third, I don't want her to reject her American side...)

Suzanne is now in her first year of école primaire. At the beginning of this school year (Suzanne's in CP=1st grade), I once again offered my services as a Native English speaker....and got nothing back. Then about a month ago, the teacher called me (she left a message on my phone that I heard a week later. oops). Since then, we've played email tag with me sending long emails explaining what I'd like to do and her responding "ok". Not very constructive for me...

So the final guidelines I have are these:

• 30 minutes
• 6 lessons are scheduled between now and end of January
• focus on culture and civilization
• subjects they won't see  with their regular English teacher (ie vocab, etc).

So I did a lot of brainstorming about WHAT to talk to them about and came up with the following subjects :

1. Native Americans
2. American food (linked with immigration)
3. American sports
4. American holidays
5. American school and games
6. and I forget the 6th one for now...

Next, I had to think about HOW to talk to them. Since the teacher didn't specifically ask for only English and she clearly said (the only clear thing she said) was that I am not teaching them English, I decided on the following set-up for each lesson : 

• Book (or story) in English: this will provide a subject for discussion
• English voabulary: taken from thebook and the subject matter
• song or dance: this will help them be interactive
• food : where applicable (since I'm a foodie)

Today's lesson is on Native Americans. I'll try to provide an update tomorrow including description of the lesson, what worked and what didn't. The point is to provide a resource for other parents who may be doing similar activities in their kid's CP class.

To be honest, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of the kids but also of the teacher. She has shown no enthusiasm at all and has not been particularly helpful. At the same time, the fact that she actually asked me to come into class is a positive sign (I also had to sign some sort of official document for the rectorat ie the superintendant).

So today...How the Bear Lost His Tail...

Halloween the Franco-American way

Halloween is just normal for my kids. It's interesting and strange to see how they just accept it and think that EVERYONE is doing it when in fact the highest concentration of "real" Halloween was in my little neighborhood and consisted of me and a few friends. 

When we did Halloween in the US 2 years ago, I noticed Suzanne's relationship to her booty. The next day, she'd forgotten it despite the fact that she had at least a pound of candy. This year, after hitting only 7 houses, the kids came home and Suzanne instantly spread her candy out on the table. She organized, categorized, counted and tried to trade with her little brother. I stood there and laughed since that's exactly what we used to do. But instead of gorging herself with candy, she promprly forgot about it and her Halloween bag (a black cat we brought back from the US) is still sitting on the sideboard. Max on the other hand has been sneaking candy without telling us and his stash is slowly dwindling.

All of the people were neighbors I know or friends, except for one. When we rang his bell, he came to the door and it was a man I'd never seen. A youngish guy with a nice smile (don't get any ideas). After he gave the kids candy, I thanked him for answering my call for participants. He told me he was happy to participate and actually thanked me for taking the intitiative !

I guess that I have imparted the fun of Halloween on my children. But France has imparted its respect for food and its moderation...

And, as a parent, I've realized that all you need is 7 neighbors to give you candy and a whole bunch of loud friends to have a fun Halloween!

lunchtime wasted time.

I honestly like the long, leisurely lunch breaks in France. People usually SIT while they eat. They may even have a mutli-course meal. With wine! That's not to say that people don't eat on the go, but most people do actually take time to eat because eating in France is THAT important.

So when lunchtime is the only time of the day you can run your various errands, the French lunch break is really annoying. Since most stores close early (the supermarket near me is open until 9pm. Woo hoo! but closed on Sunday) and the other stores in the center close by 7pm, the lunch break is the only time to do those random things like getting buttons for the fireman raincoat that's been unworn for 5 months because it's missing a button or picking up a birthday present for a 4 year old or collecting the concert tickets for next week's concert (another woo hoo here please).

And being that it IS lunchtime and I'm not the ONLY one running such errands, you'd think that the stores would make an effort to open ALL of the cash registers, not just 2 of the 6. Maybe I'm being extremely unrealistic or maybe I'm just that American that I expect to be done with my errand after waiting in line for over 10 minutes, not walking away mumbling expletives under my breath having accomplished absolutely nothing.

In either case, I just wasted 45 minutes and have nothing to show for it except a bag of goldfish crackers, which are a nice consulation in these times of need (yes, I found actual goldfish crackers!)

Lille Halloween 2012: the sequal

Following up on last year's very successful Halloween endeavor, I'm coming back for more...

Last year, I managed to organize trick-or-treating in my quiet neighborhood and the gaggle of kids (all 8 of them!) really felt like, well, Halloween! So this year, I've decided to expand to the next street! Yes, dear readers, Halloween will take over two Lille streets! (and then the world...).

As with last year, I will distribute flyers with basic information about Halloween like how it's celebrated in the US, what time and what to give and will ask my neighbors to stick the imagine of the pumpkin from the flyer on their window if they are a Halloween friendly house. I found that by inviting the neighbor's to participate, the kids avoided much disappointment and the neighbors avoided much annoyance.

But that's not all!

Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year which also happens to be the day the next bilingual storytime is planned! So the librarians at the Wazemmes library are busy planning a special Halloween storytime full of scary books and songs (does anyone know any?).

I also plan on organizing a pre-trick-or-treat party for the little kids followed of course by a post-trick-or-treat party for the big kids. I was surprised to find jack-o-lantern lights at the big Carrefour supermarket as well as spider webs and spider rings! But, I haven't been able to find costumes...

A couple of years ago, I took on the task of making a pumpkin costume for Suzanne. I followed Martha Stewart's instructions and made it out of an orange pillow case. That costume was used by both kids. Helas, the kids now want to be a cowgirl-vampire and Super Why. I've already started pulling together the pieces of the Super Why costume but not quite sure how to attack the cowgirl-vampire thing.

I am also planning the menu which will be full of skeleton cookies, ghoulish drinks and spider cupcakes. We plan on going to the local farm this weekend to pick apples and to pick up some pumpkins for carving.

And last but not least, I have yet to ask my kids' teachers if I can do something Halloween-y in class. I'm not sure how it will go over now that Suzanne's in "big school".  You can be in French school but still have some fun...right?

Eating hamburgers in Lille à l'américaine

I ate a hamburger with a fork and knife. I feel so dirty, so unAmerican, so French. Now don't go saying Reb said the French are dirty because I didn't...

There are a plethora of hamburger joints popping up all over Lille. From the American diner which opened at the swanky shopping center to Bun's Bazaar in the Vieux Lille to Speed Burger - the home delivery burger...the place my husband and I went is a brasserie called chez Max. And to their credit, it wasn't called a hamburger. It was called a "Max et toast" so it wasn't as wrong as it sounds. It's not like I went to McDonald's and brought my own silverware or anything. It was good, but it wasn't a burger.

Call me a burger snob, but there's always something wrong with the ones I eat in France. I was so happy when real burgers (compared to fake McDo burgers) starting popping up. When I first went to Bun's Bazaar in Vieux Lille, I thought, "ok not bad". But when I went back a second time and asked for my burger without sauce, they told me it wasn't possible. I was with my co-workers and thought, "well maybe the waiter didn't understand me". So I tried to explain that I wanted plain bread so I could add my own ketchup. So I asked again. And one of my coworkers had to tell me to chill out and just accept that this place toasts the buns WITH THE KETCHUP ON!!!??? So I haven't gone back there.

So when my co-workers started talking about Le Cut in the center of Lille I thought, "yeah yeah another French burger joint". But you know, it was good! The bread was nice, the meat was nice, the cheddar was nice and they could hold the sauce! My only criticism is that there are no pickles AND the burger is slightly too small for the bun. But it filled the void. I almost felt American as I held my dripping burger to my mouth. And as I did so, I looked around me and saw that everyone was eating with a fork and knife. I looked across the table at my husband who was thankfully eating with his hands, after cutting the burger in half with a knife, just a small concension to his Frenchness.

I asked him if I was being gauche by eating with my hands. He said probably yes because burgers are sort of considered fancy food these days to which I responded "McDonald's". He told me that doesn't count.

As I sat there with my husband,  I felt good like I have made the world a little better by making one more French person eat with their hands. And I was also happy to finally have a satisfying (albeit expensive) hamburger in Lille.

So I'll have to go back to Le Cut again very soon to cleanse myself of the fork-and-knife hamburger experience...because it was just a little too French for my taste.

A very French rentrée

There were no hearts or butterflies. There were no hugs and kisses. Hell, there weren't even any smiles. At least not on  the school principal's mouth. What there was was a microphone, a school director (ex-wrestling champion, large calves, square shoulders...you get the point) calling the kids' names out one by one - last name first - and a whole lot of little kids with huge backpacks crammed into the tiny blacktop courtyard of the little brick elementary school. And there was also coffee and cake...

The first thing that came into my mind as we stood there, surrounded by friends and other parents whose kids were starting CP (French first grade) was: PSYCH OUT. I turned to my husband and asked why they had to do everything to psycho the kids out, to terrify them?  After we'd watched our little girl go off with her new class  and her huge cartable - no backpacks allowed! - (most of her friends are in the other class), I said something to the effect of how stressful that situation was and it didn't have to be so. I know that the American way is probably too fluffy and cuddly, full of care bears and unicorns, but there is an in-between. But my husband listened and said, yes it is stressful, but it's also a rite of passage. Going to CP is a vital step towards independence for a French child. It's the first time the parents let their kids go off on their own.

It just all reminded me of getting my French driver's licence and how everything was done to psycho you out as if the DMV Gods were whispering  our ears: what doesn't kill you will make you stronger...

I get it. But does it have to be so harsh, so cut and dry, so utterly...French?

So this afternoon, I'll pick up Max from his first day of school (because he started today too and what a shock it'll be to him when he realizes he'll be going there from now on and not back to his dear creche!). Then I'll get Suzanne. We'll go home and she'll do her homework on her desk.

And just like that, my kids are French again.

Change

Change is good, right?

Last Saturday, I attended Suzanne's CP orientation which was also my inititaion into the French school system.

So far, school has been pre-school. But next year, CP...it's literacy bootcamp. CP - classe préparatoire - is the the first year of REAL school in France. The kids go in kids, but come out FRENCH kids. No, seriously, you should see the list of school supplies my 6 year old needs : a cartable (not a back pack, no wheels), specific color notebooks, 3 color highlighters, pencils, pens, pencil sharpener...what happened to the communal pencil sharpener and the lucky kid who got to sharpen ALL the class pencils?

I learned that my daughter will have recess twice during the day - 15 minutes each time! - and that she'll have an intense swimming course at some point during the year where they will go 4 times during the week for a month.

From next year on, the kids no longer call their teachers' by their first name. Suzanne will be in Madame B's class, who seems to be the more gentler of the 2 CP teachers. But, she is seperated from all her good friends which I'm sad for her about...

So what can an American mother say about her half-French child's scolarization? I'm totally and utterly terrified! There, I said it. The part that I find reassuring is that I called the public bilingual school in Lille and spoke to the director. I explained our situation and she said, "oh, no problem. You live in Lille and your daughter's bilingual so call me in the first semestre de CE1." I figure if it's a bilingual section full of bilingual enfants it must be a little kinder and gentler than a pure French school environment, right?

Then I had to figure out what CE1 was (for the record, it's CP, CE1, CE2, CM1, CM2....). I guess it'll be a learning curve for everyone!

In the meantime, I'll be spending 2 months in the US with my kids this summer. I mentioned this to Madame B during orientation and she didn't seemed fazed about the bilingualism at all which is also a relief.

And I haven't even started talking about Max starting school next year! Oy vey!

So in the immortal words of Sam Cooke, change is gonna come...

The One In Which I Discover the Lille Jewish Community

I've lived in Lille for about 10 years but I've been a Jew my whole life.

When I first got to Lille, I tried the synagogue a few times and I really tried hard to like it, but  there were something about the rapid-fire Hebrew, lack of order and the relegation of the women to the upper floor that didn't sit right with me.

When Suzanne was about 3, I took her to the synagogue to hear the shofar for Rosh Hashanah. I recall sitting through endless hours of incomprehensible mayhem before the shofar even got taken out. We then hightailed it out of there and I swore never to return because it just wasn't giving me what I want.

And I do regret the lack of Jewish culture my kids are exposed to, but I give them what I hold important. We do Hanukkah with some family here in Lille, we light shabbat candles sometimes, we eat apples and honey to celebrate the new year and in the past couple years I've had a mini-seder at home based on Sammy Spider's Passover Haggadah. But, there's not community...

When my mother was visiting in March, she gently insisted that I get in touch with the synagogue to see what was going on for Purim. We ended up attending the Purim party, Suzanne and Max participated in the costume contest (Suzanne as a princess and Max as a king), and I even met a nice woman who lives around the block from me. So  I thought I'd give it another chance...I mean, most of the people looked "normal" enough. Even the Chabbad rabbi who was dressed as Super Purim (Suzanne was cracking up because she thought it was super pourri which means super rotten in French!).

So last Friday night, I dragged my tired and hungry kids to the synagogue for the community seder. After entertaining them for an hour and a half while the Friday night service took place (included much climbing up and down the stairs and running in the hallway), we sat down to eat. As I looked around at the other people,  I recognized my eye doctor whose children were sitting calmly and quietly with their parents while mine were jumping up and down, climbing on me while Suzanne spilled her juice literally all over the seder place.  It was a very Pamela Druckerman moment, I must say. To their credit, my children were not terrible, but they were hungry and they were sick of sitting around.

After what seemed like forever but was probably only a bit over an hour (which is in fact forever in when you're an embarrassed mother), I turned to the people at the table with me and appologized that I had to feed my kids. I had absolutely no idea where we were in the seder and whether we had said the prayer for the eggs or the matzah, but my kids just couldn't take it anymore! Meanwhile, I was trying to keep a strong façade but was feeling sad because not only was I not getting the warm fuzzy feeling I was hoping to get from the community seder, but my kids weren't even getting anything educational out of it. It was too quick and not at all on their level. I went home feeling sad.

When we finally left around 11:30 pm, Max had washed his hands at least 3 times and Suzanne had downed 2 eggs, a few sticks of celery and half my food. But I had met some more neighbors who promised to invite us next year.

I suppose my point to this post is twofold. First, if there are any other American Jews in Lille, please contact me. Second, religion means a lot of things to a lot of people. And what the synagogue in Lille has to offer is not what I'm looking for. So, I guess I'll have to do it myself.

For information, if you are in Lille and looking for the synagogue, you can find information by getting in touch with the Beit Chabbad.

Storytime : spring has sprung!

Storytime at the Wazemmes Library has really taken off. The February dates were successful. The Saturday reading took place on the Saturday that school vacation started. Since my mother was our “guest reader”, I recruited some friends to make sure there’d be at least some kids. And to my surprise, the room was overflowing with both kids and their parents! There were at least 20 people crammed into the little room at the back of the Médiatheque Marie-Claude Vaillant-Couturier!

We didn’t have a French librarian with us that day, so I took over the French part (at one point reading the English instead! Old habits die hard). My mother and I read a couple of books in bilingual format to get the kids acquainted and then I let my mother do her librarian thing. She told the story of Joseph’s little overcoat, using paper and scissors to tell the story. She then read a couple of simple books in English, finishing with an English translation of a French book called Press Here (or Un Livre) by Hervé Tullet which is a book that screams for crowd participation. But the kids wouldn’t participate. By the time my mother was done, all of the kids were grabbing and pressing and shaking the book (this is normal behavior for this book which asks the reader to do all those things to move the spots around on the pages).

My mother observed how reticent the kids were. Where American kids would have been geting up and repeating the words or pressing the book, the French kids sat still and listened. This harkens back to my participation theory of the French which I’ve already observed in professional settings. But I digress...

March story time dates are Wednesday, March 21st at 3:30PM and Saturday, March 31st at 10:30AM .

Here is a list of books we have read so far and which seem to work well in the bilingual setting and format. There are both books in French and English, and there are some bilingual in the text.

• Le Machin/ the Thing by Stéphane Servant and Cécile Bonbon
• Bark George/ Aboie George by Jules Feiffer
• What a Radish! / Quel radis dis donc!  by Praline Gay-Para and Andrée Prigent  
• Little Blue, little Yellow / Petit Bleu, Petit Jaune by Leo Lionni
• A Color of His Own  / Une histoire de cameleon  by Leo Lionni
• The Pigeon Finds a Hotdog/ Le Pigeon Trouve un Hotdog by Mo Willems
• What Faust Saw/ La Nuit de Faust by Matt Ottley
• Yummy / Je te croquerai byLucy Cousins
• Elephant and Piggie : there’s a bird on your head / Un Oiseu sur la tête by Mo Willems
• I like Books/J’aime les livres by Anthony Brown
• Willy the Dreamer / Marcel le reveur  by Anthony Brown
• My Dad / Mon Papa by Anthony Brown
• My Mum / Ma Maman by Anthony Brown
• I Want My Dinner/ Je Veux Manger by Tony Ross
• Brown Bear, Brown Bear / Ours Brun, Ours Brun by Eric Carle
• We’re Going on a Bear Hunt /  La Chasse à l'ours by Helen Oxenbury
• Tralalire : Ours Bleu et Tigre Rouge - a bilingual text from issue 116 from july 2010)
• La maitresse dit hello by Kris di Giacomo
• Tout le Dit Hello by Kris di Giacomo
• Farmer Duck / Le canard fermier by Martin Waddell and Helen Oxenbury
• Press Here / Un Livre - Hervé Tullet
• Come Out and Play Little Mouse  /Viens jouer avec moi, petite souris! x by Robert Kraus, Jose Aruego and Ariane Dewey

Other books in English that work well for a non-English speaking group:

• Cat the Cat by Mo Willems
• Orange, Pear, Apple Bear by Emily Gravett
• Press Here by Hervé Tullet
• Monday Spaghetti by Eric Carle
• Jazzy in the Jungle by Lucy Cousins
• ABCs by Bruno Munari
• Red Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton

The fairy-mouse : a bicultural story

There is a note in the scrapbook that (I believe) is (still) in my old room at my parents' house in New Jersey. It says something like:  Dear Becca, Thank you for the lovely tooth. A little baby will love it. From, the Tooth Fairy.
It's a note my Mom wrote and saved when I lost my first tooth. I found the note along with a quarter (which was a lot in 1981!) in the heart shaped tooth pillow that was attached to my bedpost.

About 6 weeks ago at the breakfast table, Suzanne told me her tooth hurt. I touched it and it moved...and so did it's neighbor! J and I were both verklempt (see Dana Carvey in SNL). We haven't talked much about it, but the little we did talk about it went something like this : tooth fairy or petite souris. We decided to mix them up. It's not completely farfetched - If Peppa Pig's tooth fairy could be a pig, then why couldn't Suzanne's souris be a fairy and vice versa?

We both hold our cultural symbols and childhood symbols close to our hearts. Losing teeth and finding a coin under your pillow is a childhood rite of passage. The tooth fairy/souris is a minor and easily resolved issue which touches us both. But there will be other issues which are harder to resolve and which don't have a happy middle, where you can't just combine the two cultural symbols and come up with a reasonably acceptable hybrid.

But for the moment, Suzanne's teeth are literally hanging by a thread. They are just hanging out in her mouth, waiting to fall off into the sink or her glass of water or the toilet...

Suzanne fiercly believes that the fairy mouse will come and give her at least two coins for her tooth (maybe not such a bad idea to give her a French and an American coin so she can start saving for this summer's trip to the US?).  So, when the fairy mouse leaves a letter to a bilingual kid, what language is it in : French or English?

Thanksgiving : a long way from home

Pumpkin pie. They say you either love it or hate it. When I was a kid, I remember distinctly not liking it. But as I’ve gotten old, and the US has grown further away as I implant myself more and more in France, I look forward to my annual pumpkin pie. Weird.  

So as Thanksgiving approaches, and I began planning my now annual Thanksgiving extravaganza where 30+ Franco-Americans embark on my still unfinished house, I felt like an old pro. I knew where to get the turkeys and once again called the Ferme Avicole Bauduin in Rosult, I was able to get fresh cranberries via a German collegue, dried cranberries at Carrefour and cornmeal at the organic store (thanks to all the gluten free baking I’ve been doing recently). And, I even delegated more than usual. I am trying NOT to bake a pie, but I’m not sure I can hold out…

Yesterday I baked 4 dozen mini pumpkin-cornmeal muffins (a mash up of the Joy of Cooking's pumpkin bread and Brooke Dojny's Shaker Corn Pumpkin bread) to bring to school and the crèche so my kids have some sense that it’s a special day.

This morning, I accompanied my 5 year old to school where I explained Thanksgiving to her class in a way that avoided religion and colonial power and God (there’s a Jehovah’s Witness in the class who has been innocently indoctrinating the other kids about God watching them from his perch in the sky). I told them that a long time ago, before planes, the English came to America and met the Native Americans. The English found new food they didn’t know about and celebrated with the Native Americans. So today in the US, it’s a holiday where people eat pumpkin, cranberries and turkey. The kids devoured the muffins and dried cranberries; and the brave few even ate some raw cranberries. There were some interesting questions like: did the English sleep on the boat? Did they eat fish? Why didn’t they take a plane? And then, P (who happens to be very sweet but is the class menace) said “it must take you a long time to get to school from your house since it’s so far away.” And it made me realize that home really is where the heart is...

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

 

Halloween 2012 : the secrets to success

Six houses.

Halloween was built up in our house for weeks. We decorated the windows with cut out pumpkins. We talked about costumes. We even practiced dressing up in them. And then the day came.

My friend A had her traditional Halloween party. This year there were special treats brought from the US army base in Lille (yes there is one!) replete with real cupcakes with real frosting. Thekids enjoyed  bobbing for apples and doing a candy hunt in the back yard - a weak replacement for trick or treating, but you do what you can.

As night began to fall (just past 4pm!), we started to get geered up for Halloween. When I took a walk down my street earlier in the day, I'd seen one of my pumpkin simples on a neighbor's house so I knew we had at least 3 houses to hit : mine, my friend's and a neighbor's. But at 6pm, when we walked down the street to meet up for trick or treating, I was filled with glee. There were 6 pumpkins ! So our gaggle of kids - there were 7 in all - went up and down the street, screaming, running and laughing.

The neighbors - even the crotchedy old man - gave out candy to our kids. I realized that they had actually done it for us. For me and my kids. Why? Because I'd asked nicely, taken the inititiative, and shown them that it was a nice and fun time for the kids. And you know what? Even the crotchedy old man smiled! 

We ended at the pharmacy, where the kids ran in and all the pharmacy stff gathered around and they dipped their grubby and sticky hands into the big bowl of lollypops. At the end of the night - which lasted only 30 minutes but seemed like hours - I had all the kids saying "trick or treat". And you know what? It was just enough. And it was a huge success! 

Later in the evening as Max dipped his hand into his candy bag, he said "I got a rock" (a little tribute to the Great Pumpkin himself).

Storytime : double whammy!

This week saw the double edition of storytime. On Wednesday, the group was composed of 10 6-8 year olds and my two little monsters and my friend Anne's bilingual kids. Suzanne pulled up a chair next to me and read her own books- although she enjoys storytime, it was understandably much less fun without any of her friends. Marie and I mostly reused some of the stories we'd done previously including Le Machin which works amazingly bilingually. but we also did "Three Billy Goats Gruff" from Yummy by Lucy Cousins. Her versions of the fairy tales are straight to the point and lend themselves well to split, bilingual reading. The group was enthusiastic and able to retain a certain number of words. The already had a good base which helped. Saturday's group was completely different. There were 4 kids plus my 2. All of the kids were between 3 and 6. Marie and I did some of the younger books including What Faust Saw, I Want My Potty, I Like Books and I'm Going on a Bear Hunt, the latter is a great exercise in otomotopea (isn't that a great word?!). The parents were enthusiastic and so is Marie, despite the issues the library is currently facing.

When we finished, she told me that there was an administrative mess up so storytime in November and December wouldn't apprear in the library agenda but that there would be flyers made for the library. She also told me that she didn't mind doing one Wednesday and one Saturday a month. I'm getting the feeling that she's enjoying storytime!

I wanted to do some Halloween stories but the library didn't have any that were easy enough to read to a mixed group of kids. Tant pis.

Other notable moments of the weekend included my distribution of Halloween fliers to all my neighboors at 11pm on Friday night in an attempt to remain visibly invisible. This is my attempt to bring Halloween to my street. One neighbor has already decorated her windows. Another told me that as long as kids didn't come ringing their bell and asking for candy, they would do Halloween. Um, yeah. My kids are extremely excited for Halloween. I've got to start working on Suzanne's ghost costume!

On Sunday, as the kids and I walked through the Wazemmes market square on our way back from visiting La Ferme des Dondaines, Suzanne asked me, "can we speak French together so people won't know we're English?" I decided not to correct her on the semantics of it - English versus American and the fact that I just physically cannot speak French to my kids. But when I asked her why she didn't want people to know we spoke English, she said, "because I don't want to go to prison." I then explained to Suzanne that in France, people don't get sent to prison for speaking a different language and that we should be proud to speak English AND French. I sometimes wonder how much the bilingualism adds to the insecure musings of the common 5 year old.

But seeing the semi-popularity of storytime, I don't think we need to worry about being imprisoned for a little while at least.