Where'd 2019 go ?

It hasn't been a year yet. So that means my blog is not dead. Yet.

It's been a long few months full of navigating the CPAM, French health care and learning a lot about physical therapy.

I started 2019 laid up with a new hip (resurfacing actually). When I was 12, I got hit by a car. At the time, I remember a doctor saying to me "one day you'll have arthritis." As a 12 year old, "one day" means when you're really old...not 35 when my pain actually started. I was always athletic, started running track and field in high school, I ran cross country at college. And after college, running  was my solace. I ran a marathon, a dozen half marathons, running through two pregnancies...and then I started getting odd pains. I was in and out of physical therapy for years with various back and knee pains. But as they came and went, my mind kept going back to that doctor in 1987.

So in fall 2017, after various stints of not running, cutting back on activity, and constant low grade pain, I took matters into my own hands and went to see a rheumatologist. He sent me for a scan, confirmed I had some arthritis but that we could do cortisone injections and I'd be fine. He also said to stop running. After crying a little, he said well I could run if I could get through the pain.

The scan showed a more severe amount of damage to my hip than they suspected. I had a torn labrum, osteoarthritis and  a torn ligament. The cortisone injection was a flop because it made me feel WORSE. I went back to the rheumatologist, who by this point started understanding that  I wasn't just giving up. He sent me for 2 more injections neither of which had much benefit. By this point, there were days when I couldn't put on my own shoes, I was walking with a visible limp and the pain was waking me at night.

Before evening waiting for results for the second scan, I had an appointment with the hip surgeon. When I saw him in July 2018, I hadn't run in 7 months and couldn't walk for more than a few feet before my hip started to seize. He told me I was too  young for a total hip replacement and that I was too small for resurfacing. Due to a crazy law in France, resurfacing is only from a certain femur size in order to prevent inexperienced surgeons from doing the operation.

By now it was summer vacation and I had accepted that I would maybe never run again. But it was ok if I could still go for long power walks. One day, I came in from a 5k walk in the woods limping like never before. that's when my hip starting "sticking". I spent the next 3 weeks of vacation in excruciating pain. My husband was washing my feet. I couldn't sit cause my hip would stick. I couldn't stand because it hurt. And I couldn't sleep.

When I got home, I said that's it. I've lived a month in excruciating pain and I'm not doing this anymore. One sleepless night, I contacted a surgeon over the border in Belgium about hip resurfacing. Rereading that first email still makes me cry. Long story short, he confirmed I was the perfect candidate, the hip surgeon in France told me that going to Belgium for surgery was the best option for me, and so in November 2019 I was the owner of a newly resurfaced hip.

I've spent the last year learning to walk and run again (more about that running thing later). But mostly, fighting social security so they would pay for my surgery.

The biggest lesson I've learned this past year is about advocacy. If you do not advocate for yourself in France, and probably anywhere, no one else will. But what about the people who don't have the tools or the knowledge or the confidence to advocate for themselves? What do they do ?

So in this time of Thanksgiving, I have a whole bunch of people to thank starting with my friend Sean who first told me about resurfacing, my kids and husband for supporting me through all this , the surgeon at CHR (Prof. Migaud) for being honest with me, and also netflix for keeping me entertained during some very long days and nights....

Ideas for future blog posts :

1. how to deal with the CPAM
2. a brief lesson on resurfacing 
3. learning to run again 
4. and of course my kids and their little bilingual minds ! 

2019: a new beginning

It's been over a year since I've posted on my blog. It's not dead but maybe it should be.

This blog started as a way of venting about the French, living in France, and being an expat. It then turned into a way of documenting my kids' bilingual progress. That part, for me, was the most important part. Thanks to this blog, I'll be able to remember what my kids' first words were (without confusing them) and I'll be able to tell them what growing up bilingually was like so they can, hopefully, raise their own bilingual kids one day.

So, since I've decided this blog isn't dead, here's an update on what's happened the past year or so.

• I got a new hip. I guess my blog could have been a really good resource for anyone else suffering from hip pain, about how to navigate the medical scene in France, about osteo-arthritis, about hip resurfacing. But I missed the boat. If you do come by this blog and do want to know anything about it, I can still let you know. Or maybe I'll post about hip resurfacing another time. Goals...

• Brexit. Well that just sucks. And then the orange man sucks even more (or as my son calls him Dumb-old Trump). So yeah, you know my political views. So what ?

• Suzanne: my daughter is 12 1/2 going on 18. I didn't know that teenage eye-rolling was universal but I can confirm that it is. The mood swings are terrible and the attitude. And my daughter is still nice, which means there are lots of kids who are so much worse than this. Suzanne is fully bilingual. She's in 5e (7th grade) at the international section at a local middle school here in Lille. I HATE the French education system with a passion. All she does is work. She's at school from 8am to 5pm. And when she comes home, she has homework. Everyone I speak to says the system is not set up for kids, that kids don't get a chance to be kids, but then why doesn't the system change. It's sometimes painful for me to see how much she has to do.  At 12 1/2, Suzanne is more bilingual that I ever could have imagined. She doesn't love reading (neither did I and now I can't live without books) but she devours mangas and graphic novels. She prefers speaking and reading in English, has a perfect little American accent and her language is peppered with lovely little teenage inflections (like OMG, obvi...!). She's an avid and talented artist. She's funny and sensitive, sweet and creative, and also a pain in the butt. Suzanne has never struggled with being bilingual. She's always thought it was cool, and she's seems to be perfectly balanced in French and English. She even says she prefers English which is reflected in her choice of friends. The advantage to the international section, besides the additional English work which to be honest is still extremely French, is that she has American and British friends. That's the absolute best way to learn English. Her english is so good to begin with thanks to our regular Wednesday play dates with her first friend, Matilda who no longer lives in Lille. I couldn't be prouder of her, even if sometimes I just want to tape her mouth shut. 

• Max: my son is now 9 1/2 and in CM1 (4th grade). He's a geek and proud of it. Max is that dorky little boy who went from knowing everything about super heroes to legos and now is obsessed with Yu-Gi-Oh cards. When Max has nothing to do, besides complaining that he's bored over and over and over, he can be found building Yu-Gi-Oh holders out of cardboard boxes or building crazy lego vehicles.  Max's language is extremely precise in both French and English. The other day, he told me that he'd asked me "thrice", a word he'd leaned in a book. He continues to speak with an accent when he speaks English. It's not really a French accent but it's something. When he was little, he sounded almost German which we thought was due to over-pronunciation. Now we just attribute it to his Max-ness. Max is also in the international program at school which means he does 3 hours of English in school with other bilingual and non-bilingual kids. Unlike Suzanne, Max doesn't have a language preference. He just talks all the time to whoever will listen, in whichever language is available. Max loves reading, but is also a huge fan of audio books. He just finished listening to Harry Potter in English, but doesn't want to read the books. What was amazing though was that he was able to LISTEN in Harry Potter in ENGLISH while simultaneously READING a minecraft book in FRENCH. That just blows my mind.

So there you have it. A little intro to 2019 and hopefully a push to get my back to my blog just for myself really. 

Pirate girl

Back in June, Suzanne had her mandatory 4 year old check up. Jerome went with her. He later explained to me that it was a day full of nurses, psychologists and a doctor poking and prodding my daughter. They thought she was really bright and even told Jerome that she needed to be watched because kids like her are so smart that they get along without showing they have a weakness. Which is why it was a good thing they caught her eye problem.

Two weeks later, I took her to the eye doctor. It was almost impossible to get an appointment (you usually have to wait more than 6 months see a eye doctor here!) but since she's so young, they fit her in. And then sort of as payback for getting an appointment so quickly, we had an almost 2 hour wait in the waiting room. At some point, I went to the receptionist and she said, "has he seen you yet? no? that's not normal." Turns out he'd skipped over us. He took us next without even a little teeny tiny sorry. Jerk. I explained to Suzanne that it was very rude to make someone wait like that and not to appologize. What I didn't say is that this is typical in France...

So just before vacation, Suzanne got glasses. She decided that purple was the best color but when she saw this pair, she couldn't resist. I made a difficult decision : it was more important that she loves her glasses than I love them so we got them despite our difference in taste.
Then just before we left on vacation, she had to see the orthoptist just to make sure she didn't need eye ball exercises. After her check up, the orthoptist said she thought everything was fine but needed to see Suzanne after the vacation just to check because she found a slight weakness with her left eye which she checked second so Suzanne was probably tired.

It turns out she's got a slightly lazy eye so the orthoptist prescribed what's called 'occlusion sauvage', une terme barbare. Oh really! So my beautiful little girl is wearing a patch for the next 7 days, all day, every day, every night. And she's not even complaining! What a trooper...

All this to say that my daughter is really truly awesome and that the French health care system really is top notch.

And in honor of Suzanne, here's a little video to enjoy:

Why Obama is right (again)

Introducing Max Pierre Norman J. named for 2 crotchety old men from different sides of the ocean, his great grandfathers. Born on August 11th, weighing 3.395 kilos and measuring 50.5 cm.

I am still amazed at the hospital stay - I should have stayed for 5 days, but instead opted to go home early (an option they offer since this is a second child). Since I was the only one giving birth the night of August 11th, I had 2 midwives tending to me for all 11 hours of labor, my own personal baby nurse and 2 obstetricians all for myself. Including my epidural, the extra assistance from the obstetricians and a 3 day hospital stay including 3 full meals, midwives and baby nurses coming in every 3 hours to check on me and Max, plus 2 home visits from midwives (since I went home early), the total cost out of pocket was 0€. Did I mention that I gave birth at a public hospital and had a private room with a fridge? And when I was let out, an internist came to see me to discuss follow up check ups with my GP, the baby's check ups, and gave me a prescription for abdominal and post-natal physical therapy. All part of preventitive medicine practiced in France.

So, the reason President Obama's proposal to change america's health care system is clear. I may have given birth in a public hospital with socialized health care but I did not sacrifice one iota of anything at all. And I will rebound better than most Americans do because of the aftercare. And I have a beautiful, healthy little boy as proof.

Socialized, universal health care and Michelle Obama's nice purple shirt

I've been hopelessly neglecting my blog and my blog reading, as anyone who still comes this way can see. But I have good reason.

The other morning as I watched the news during a flash of motivation to do some morning exercies (seeing as I don't have time for anything at the moment), I saw a warm and happy vision on the TV : Both houses of Congress aplauding Obama as he came to give his speech. There was a lovely pan onto Michelle who looked beautiful in deep purple. I was brought to tears as I half-heartedly did my squats.

Euronews mentioned that he spoke of socialized healthcare which really hit home. After my recent visit "home", I realized that health care (and vacations of course!) is the main issue that would keep me from living in the US unless I were independently wealthy.

During our three weeks in the US, we were all sick with sore (probably strep) throats but didn't dare go to the doctor. As soon as I was back, we went to the my kissy family doctor (who used the tu form with me by the way!) because it costs me nothing.

Which brings me to the state of pregnancy in France. When Amy over at Chtilins and Cambembert was pregnant with her 2nd one, she kept a running total of how much she paid or, in reality didn't pay since she actually made money being pregnant with the money the government gives you when you're pregnant. I wanted to do the same, but then realized, well I have nothing to report because I'm covered 100% until a couple months after the baby's birth. (Did you catch that or do I have to spell it out?) . At 4 months, I have had 2 ultrasounds, 3 blood tests, a test for markers of possible birth defects. And the only out of pocket expense I've had is 11€ for a pregnancy test. That's a damn cheap pregnancy so far.

There is a downside to all this as I'm sure you imagine. My regular doctor will follow me only until the 4th month at which point I will be followed at the hospital where I'm going to give birth. I have chosen a public hospital which means that I won't necessarily see the same mid-wife throughout the pregnancy (it's different at private clinics). And I don't know who will be there when I actually give birth. But if my experiences giving birth to Suzanne are any indication, it doesn't matter because everything went well...once I got past the fact that complete unknowns were doing intimate things to me.

So I say, go Obama! Go socialized health care! Go baby 2!