Mud pie in your face!

I let my daughter crawl around on the grass, play with dirt and get her hands dirty. SO WHAT?
Stop shooting me snide looks when you see her crawling around the play ground. Don't tell me she's going to get dirty when she plays with dirt (duh, that's what happens!). Don't tell me that the grass is unclean when she puts some in her mouth.

And if your toddler decides to emulate my daughter playing with pebbles, do not look at me like it's my fault and do not say to your child, "see, now your hands are all dirty," while rolling your eyes at me.

And do not shoot me nasty looks when my daughter laughs in a restaurant or cries in a store because she's got a dirty diaper and she's being dragged around through Carrefour. Babies make lots of noise and sometimes cry, OK? Geez... (I did actually say this in very loud French to the haughty woman who was giving me the evil eye).

Can someone please explain to the French parents that part of being a kid is getting dirty, eating dirt and making lots of noise? I always heard that French children were supposed to be seen not heard, but I didn't realize that they also weren't supposed to eat grass or make mud pies - I guess just more proof that American cuisine is sub-par.

And while you're at it, can you tell that nasty couple who were very loudly discussing their divorce over dinner on Saturday night while we were out on a "date" that changing your 6 month old on an empty table in the restaurant is just wrong. We Americans may let our kids play in dirt but we don't submit other restaurant-goers to dirty diapers...