School has turned my 3 year old into a habitual bed wetter. I have not had a solid night's sleep in over a month. Max wakes up at 4 or at 6 or both, usually wet. I've become a pro at changing sheets and finding dry blankets and pyjamas in the dark. Max has become a pro at speaking really loudly yet not waking up his sister.
We spoke to his teacher yesterday because this behavior - ie a good sleeper who is dry at night suddenly peeing and waking every night! - is a sign of some sort of stress. Not only is Max tired, but so am I but he's also acting out with hitting, biting and tantrums.
Max's 2 best friends from the crèche are in his class. They are inseparable. Although that in itself isn't a problem, it is starting to become one because Max seems to be very exclusive, pushing other kids away when they want to play with him and his buds. They do however allow another kid from the crèche to play with them.
Yesterday when I got Max from school, the ladies in aftercare told me Max broke down and cried when the parents came to pick up the kids. They said it wasn't a tantrum but real sad tears. They went next store to the upper school and brought Suzanne to give him a big hug (the schools are separate but have a common cafeteria).
When we spoke to Max's teacher this morning, he said he believes Max is scared of crowds and therefore is very attached to his little group. And now he's becoming aggressive which is a problem. Somewhere in there, he made me (and less so my husband) feel bad about our parenting. He suggested looking at what we do at home. All this is quite ironic since Max doesn't see his friends, S and A, outside of school. And he does have other friends he plays with. As my husband said, his teacher (the director of the school who is not known for his good relations with the parents) is there to listen to the kids, not the parents.
Add onto this the fact that I'm just exhausted and have no patience for Max at the moment (between his kicking, biting and screaming), that I can't infuse calm vibes in my son because I have NONE.
Max is no monster despite the description above. Max is a very sensitive and thoughtful little boy who hides his fears behind his joking nature. He's sweet and intelligent and obviously very complex.
And if he would let me sleep more, I'd be a much better mom.
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5 comments:
Oh Reb....I'm sitting here wanting to give you the advice that will make it all better but I don't have an answer. I really hope Max comes through the other side of this quickly and that sleep reigns once again in your home. Everything is so much harder with no sleep. Don't beat yourself up.
I am sorry to hear what has been going on. I can really relate because I feel the same way these days too. Our transition to life in France is going slowly, but I find that my son in moyen section (daughter is in petit) is having a more difficult time making friends and adjusting to the French education system (lots of yelling). In fact, he dreaded going so much that we decided to have them go part-time for the next few weeks. He seems to be acting out too and it’s difficult for me to be calm and supportive when I wonder if we should have even moved here in the first place!
I noticed that you do a storytime on Wednesdays at the library and I was wondering if you are doing something special for Halloween? I don’t think much will happen in our town so we may pop by for a visit.
Good luck with things next little while…I’m sending positive vibes your way….
@Bonne Maman Thanks for the kind words . After I wrote the post, the teacher actually called me (I panicked when I saw the school number appear on my phone) but it was just to say not to worry so he sort of made up for being a jerk. sort of.
@Anonymous - thre will be a special Halloween storytime on Wed, October 31st. Come dressed !
Poor little guy, you can listen to him and rephrase his feelings (loneliness/protective of his friends/scared....) it may help him feeling understood and decrease the agressiveness. You probably thought about it already but reading books about friends/back to school and so on should help... As for bedwetting a friend told me of a great book called "Dry all night" there's in it a part for the parent and a great story for the kid... http://www.amazon.com/Dry-All-Night-Technique-Bedwetting/dp/0316542253/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
Good luck with your little one, he's just 3 it's hard to process school and friendship and sharing friends and react appropriately to string emotions... You could offer playdates with his good friends so he "shares" them more easily at school maybe...
Thanks. We did talk about his friends. And Max also had a talk with his teacher and he's much better! The teacher - although not a very good communicator with parents - obviously has a good flow with the kids. Cause since they spoke, Max hasn't had anymore night accidents and fewer wakings. But he is still hitting! The teacher says that it could be a frustrated alpha wolf thing since he's not in charge but wants to be (his friend S is the leader of the pack...and Max is enamored of him).
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