how to declare credit card fraud in under 2 hours

1) call the bank to see how to deal with it. Get put on hold.
2)stop by the closest branch of your bank. Have your credit card cancelled and taken away. Be given a print out of the fraudulant charges with the card number hand written on the bottom of the page. Be instructed to go to the Police.
3)Ask who the police are. National? Municipal? Be told to go to the Commisariat Central in east bumble. Ask if the Police Nationale 2 blocks away is sufficient, be told no.
4) be instructed that once the complaint is filed, write a letter to the bank - your branch not this branch - and drop it off with the paper the police will give you.
5) call your branch of the bank to confirm the information and be told that the person at the first bank had wrong information.
6)get the right information, confirm that the Police station 2 blocks away is ok, and go there with sleeping baby in stroller and hope he doesn't wake up and need to be breastfed in the police station.
7) enter the police station by hoisting the stroller up some high steps while everyone sits and watches you. Present your complaint to the police officer at the front desk and be told to wait. Notice that the police station is housed in an old building with beautiful mouldings and fire places and wonder why they couldn't have used the space more wisely and maybe have used doors instead of shelves to break down the space.
8)Listen to other people's discussions with police officers since it is an open room.
9)be told off by police officer A for sitting behind the door with stroller which was nearly knocked over - since everyone else in the station so kindly offered more appropriate seating for a mother with a stroller.
10) pray that baby doesn't wake up and wait patiently for your turn. When police officer A is done, watch him look at the list of people waiting and instead of calling the mother with baby, go out for a cigarette break.
11) Ask how long it will take because you now have 15 minutes to file complaint, breastfeed sleeping baby and get to school to pick up 3 year old.
12) Be called by police officer B, after watching her flirt with Police Officer A for 5 minutes.
13) Give police office B credit card number and list of fraudulant transactions. Exchange all of 10 words with her (name, address, bank...). Sign document and leave.
14) Walk out of police station, feed baby on bench in park before tearing him off breast to get 3 year old at school.
15) Write "official letter" to the bank, officially informing them that your card was used without your knowledge and asking to be reimbursed according to article L 132-4 of the Monetary and Financial Code.
16) Be amazed that you actually had to go to the Police station to deal with this...and that it actually was less painful than most other French administrative experiences.