Monday, 19 March 2007

I flip therefore I am

I may now be legally French but my middle finger still says I'm all American (and maybe even got some Joyzy left in me).

This morning, as I was riding my bike down one of those streets that's too narrow for cars to be parked on both sides so people park on the sidewalks (I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about), I heard a car gunning its engine behind me. Usually, I'll put myself just a little over to the middle to make sure the car doesn't shoot past me and knock me off my bike. But this morning, I was still dazed from Suzanne's 3 wakings. Since I didn't react, the guy in his larger than most French car, shot past me barely missing me.

I proceeded to make a wild mediterrean-like hand gesture to which he responded with the same. So I flipped him off. A big ole middle finger. I saw his brake lights go on, so I panicked for a second, but then decided to race to catch him and hit his car or something. Good thing he got away. Not like the last time I flipped someone off...

The last time, the guy actually stopped. He actually went in reverse to where I was and said :"il faut pas déconner" loosely translated, what the f**k are you doing?
To which I responded that he was the one who was deconner-ing since he passed me with only a couple centimeters, practically grazing me and he could have hurt me. Good thing he was young with long hair and seemed kind of cool, 'cause I would have keyed his car or broken a tail light or something (yeah right).

Another time I flipped someone off, I was walking down the street and someone honked, so I turned around and these 2 girls were in their car laughing at me, so I flipped them the bird. They did a U-turn - I was about 20 feet from the entrance to my building so walked really fast and casually to the door. Just as I got the door open, a large woman grabbed the door. She said something to which I said something dumb like "I don't understand". So she bitch slapped me on the arm.

So, see, I have escaped being run over and beaten by a fat French woman and yet my finger still insists on doing its thing. I guess you can take the hand out of New Jersey but you can't take the New Jersey out of the hand...

1 comment:

Deb said...

You're such an American bad-ass! ;o)

I haven't flipped the bird here (yet), though I have cursed up a storm while waiting in line at the préfecture. Not everyone here realizes what the "f-word" really implies. Good thing for me, or else I probably would have gotten my ass kicked!

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