tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35124868099611785.post3659965635100460770..comments2023-10-24T12:39:03.746+02:00Comments on Uh Oh Spaghettios: Warding off the crazy.Rebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15768568719894187436noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35124868099611785.post-35987235169501732962011-04-04T15:54:29.920+02:002011-04-04T15:54:29.920+02:00Oh Reb, I know it's hard. But like the previou...Oh Reb, I know it's hard. But like the previous poster, I don't think it's bilingualism. My first is seriously high strung (and in the States they think he's the smartest thing ever) and he gets the same thing with people asking him how to say stuff in English or, better yet, they ask him to say anything in English and he's stumped. He doesn't like not knowing the answer either. I remind him he goes to school to learn and to practice all kinds of things. But he's a little headcase and he's a lot like me. He would flip pretty much every day as I collected him from school for a long time. He had all this emotion building up all day and I got it, full force, when I picked him up. Over time we've worked out ways for him to deal with this and it's mostly gone away now. I think he would have had this even if we just spoke French at home. We do deep breaths, counting to 10, talking about how stuff feels, etc. <br /><br />And yeah, his brother is nothing like him. He's a smart kid too but much more relaxed. Those poor first-borns (says the poor first-born) do suffer so. The second kids suffer as well, but so far chez nous, far less dramatically.<br /><br />I'm trying to think of the bilingual people I've known in my life and if they were damaged by it. I don't think it's possible -- unless you were to suddenly switch languages or something and deprive her of her mother tongue with a jolt. Someone told me once, a long time ago, "be gentle with yourself." Hah, I need to remember that myself! Thanks for that.<br /><br />I hope you are feeling better now and I hope you can find some ways to help Suzanne express her feelings.<br /><br />Bisous,<br />RachaelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35124868099611785.post-51758723570624076882011-04-02T21:40:54.980+02:002011-04-02T21:40:54.980+02:00Okay, definitely sounds like she's having a ro...Okay, definitely sounds like she's having a rough time and thus you are, too. I'm totally doling out my own brand of crazy to my daughter so I can understand where you're coming from. My best friend from home always makes me laugh by saying, "Yes, we'll f*#% them up but it'll be in our own special way." It brings the stress level down a little bit. <br /><br />It's so difficult at this age to figure out what's going on with kids because sometimes they don't even consciously know what's bothering them. I worry too about the stigma later on but from what you described it doesn't sound like she's getting picked on at school. And in my experience as an ESL teacher back in the states, the few OPOL kids I worked with did extremely well (vast majority had native language only at home). The ones I worried about had other stuff going on but that wasn't related to bilingualism. <br /><br />To me it sounds like (oh no, here comes the assvice but please bear with me) she could be highly verbal as well as gifted, and those qualities tend to go with sensitive children, I think. If she's one of the highly gifted, sensitive children then bilingualism isn't going to be the problem, but she might need extra reassurance when it comes to things like forgetting words and getting it "right." It also makes it likely that young love issues would affect her more than others, but this is not my field of expertise by any means - just a possibility as I see it. <br /><br />You and Suzanne have a very special bond thanks to your efforts. I have an old school Sesame Street book on making mistakes, so if I can think of the name (brain fart in action) I'll send it to you so you can snuggle up and read it together. It goes for both of you, because Lord knows we all screw up as parents but you seem pretty awesome and so does Suzanne. Give yourself a break because you're obviously a very devoted, thoughtful parent! (And I'm going to work on that, too...)Pardon My Frenchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11097929973860968006noreply@blogger.com